“Have you tried deep breathing and gratitude journaling about it?”

Vital Stats

Edition: Drop #10
Rarity Level: Rare (like emotional availability in your 20s)
Boyfriend Type: Chaotic Wholesome

Backstory

This boyfriend is basically a walking wellness podcast. He’ll recommend guided meditations, remind you to hydrate, and send you affirmations before bed. Equal parts soothing and a little much, he’s the guy who makes you roll your eyes at his crystal collection but secretly feel calmer just being around him.

The Appeal / The Icks

The Appeal: Actually listens when you talk, diffuses drama before it starts, always has snacks that are somehow both healthy and delicious.
The Icks: Quotes Brené Brown too often, insists sage cleanses fix everything, lowkey smug about his “healing journey.”

How He Shows Up

Loose linen shirts, essential oils in his tote bag, Spotify playlists called “Vibrations.”

Signature Moves

Passive Vibe: Radiates calm, sometimes to an annoying degree.
Ultimate Move: Affirmation Beam (temporarily disarms enemies with relentless positivity).

If You’ve Dated Him…

You probably felt seen, soothed, and slightly judged for not owning a yoga mat.
 

You’ve basked in his good vibes—time to move on to the next boyfriend drop before he offers another guided meditation.